Melanie Toye Uplifts

Image by Marta Kulesza from Pixabay When I was working towards making my dream a reality to become a writer, I would tell myself almost daily, that I can’t fail if I don’t give up.  There were many times when i questioned all the hours I spent writing, all the work I was doing, if I would ever be able to work for myself solely as a writer.  It’s take persistence, sometimes it takes years/ decades to achieve your goal. So you need a phrase that is like a mantra that you keep telling yourself in the times where it’s easier to give up. But remember if you give up then you will never know the potential and the success you could have had and also you will be back at step one thinking about what to do and where to go from here.  Is it easier to give up? Absolutely. It’s hard work achieving your goals when your friends are at the beach relaxing. This doesn’t mean you can’t carve out some relaxation while you are achieving your goals towards your dream. You just can’t take too l...

Image by Vinzent Weinbeer from Pixabay When you have been through something traumatic in life, we tend to push it down and not talk about it.  It’s a release when we can talk to someone about it. It actually frees us even more. This person to talk to could be a professional, someone you trust or someone you know who’s being through a similar journey as you.  Talking about your experience makes you realise how free you are and how much you have grown. Sometimes when we are experiencing behaviour from someone else, it isn’t until we take off the rose coloured glasses that we realise, wow, how did I even put up with that person’s behaviour.  The most important thing to know is, you don’t have to put up with someone’s bad behaviour towards you. You can move on! And the best way to do that is to find support from others to help you on your journey to healing yourself.  Sometimes we feel it’s best we don’t open the darkness that we have had to overcome or are overcoming. ...

  Image by Åsa K from Pixabay So I was a pretty successful writer 7 years ago and then I burnt out from most areas of life and I stopped. I had been writing for years and then took a break. Burn out was real and ugly and when people asked if I would ever write again, I just said maybe in time. But it seemed so far away and I couldn’t really get past it. It just seemed like I was smashed and probably wouldn’t write again.  A few years ago, I even took down my ebooks and paperback from the online stores such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble etc. It was sad. Years of work. Just gone with a hit of a button. No history. I wiped my dream chaser blog. I even deleted my Facebook fan page. The only memory of my writing online was on my LinkedIn profile, follow me at  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanie-toye-a3267644?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app . I used to do sixty hours a week writing, bringing up my young children and ...

Image by Nanne Tiggelman from Pixabay It’s hard, you could be in a toxic situation, whether it’s in a relationship or at work or something else.  It’s hard to know sometimes if it’s toxic or just challenging. But once you know, your rose-coloured glasses come off and you decide how you will proceed, whether you leave the situation or person, or you stay but set some clear boundaries. Maybe once you work it out, it’s not as toxic as you thought and that you do have freedoms that you can enjoy the most out of. I will say upfront, as you work through the thoughts of working out it if it’s toxic or just challenging, your emotions are going to get sticky. It’s up to you to feel the emotions, acknowledge them but then move on. You don’t want to get stuck in a feeling and think it is toxic and then just stay there. You have to do a full circle and work out the whole situation and then release your emotions. Because only once you work out your full situation, then you can determine your n...

Image by HANSUAN FABREGAS from Pixabay  It’s interesting how anger works…. If you think about it there are generally two other emotions going on around the same time and then it builds up to anger and it will burst through any self-composed person in different ways.  Interestingly, after I am angry I think about how did I feel leading up to the anger or what was the anger masking?  Sometimes it’s anxiety, sometimes it’s stress, sometimes it’s  grief. And you don’t have to lose someone to grieve. Grieving can happen in all different ways such as grieving a change of lifestyle or grieving an end of a friendship or just grieving what you may have lost in the past.  So it’s important to look at why you got angry? But it’s ok to have felt angry as well. As long as it is controlled and there is no danger to anyone or yourself, anger is a valid and normal emotion.  Obviously, no one wants to be angry for too long. People want to feel good and that’s why people te...

Image by Daniel Reche from Pixabay It’s ok to be anxious, even sometimes you might just get anxious at a certain situation you may have to deal with it. The most important thing to remember when you feel anxious is be gentle on yourself, talk to your inner mind and talk through the situation. Congratulate yourself when the situation is over. Just because you felt anxious doesn’t mean you have to feel like you failed a situation. If you still went through it then congratulate yourself that you did something and you were anxious and you still did it anyway.  This can relate to a fear of heights or travelling on an airplane. If you start to feel anxious about a possibly dangerous situation and your gut (stomach) is sending you a warning, this is when you need to listen to it and find another way. Do you see the difference?  One is safe, like climbing a tall mountain in a safe way even though you may be afraid of heights and the other is you might be walking straight into a dange...

Image by Emsfuse Ems Fuse from Pixabay Routines are so important Routines do not just set the day, do you are ready for what big adventure may come next but also, routines at night can close the day and prepare you for a gentle sleep tos tar the day again. What is cool about routines is it can help you achieve your goals. I remember someone saying, I lost weight because I got into a routine to go running. Setting and continually completing the routine will see you achieve your goals, whatever they may be.  So how do you create a routine?  Start with the basics. For the next two weeks create the same routine for when you wake up. Wash your face, eat breakfast, make a coffee and brush your teeth. You can do this in any order and you can add or subtract from it.  Then, if you have already, write down three goals and then put them in order of your highest priority being one. Now, work out how much time you want to spend or have time to spend on your goal each day / week....

  Image by congerdesign from Pixabay Sometimes we just need a break. A day off to ourselves. A time to either do literally nothing and just brainstorm where we want our life to be and the steps to make it happen, as well timeframes to sit against those steps.  Or we just do what makes us happy.  Or both.  Sometimes, we just wake up or we go to bed stressed and wake up even more stressed. So giving yourself that day to just be with yourself will hopefully help. If you are stressed, writing down absolutely everything that is niggling at you right now is a great technique to help you get it on paper and out of your thoughts. You can even write down the thoughts associated with the situation you are facing.  Other ways to release stress is to pump up in the fitness arena. It doesn’t have to be going to a gym to do weights, it can literally be just a walk. Listen to music and let your thoughts be. Sometimes when we are outside exercising our brain feels clearer and ...

Image by Christophe from Pixabay You are stronger than you think.  Right now, you might be going through a problem, a challenge, a situation that feels awful that you want to run from. You can tell your friends about it but you have to live it yourself. It’s not fun. Every day the problem is there and it’s not going away.  You find ways to deal with it. But it’s hard because it keeps growing and it stays there. It’s affecting your mind and your health.  You can’t sleep. You struggle to eat. Your mind plays the thoughts over and over and it’s consuming you. You don’t know how to fix it. Because you can’t control it. You can only deal with it as each day it comes. It might change in different ways but it’s dirtier than ever. It plays hard and fast and you don’t know how to respond. You want to run but you know you can’t.  And then you do everything you can to stop it. To solve it. To fix it. You spend all your waking moments trying to think of new ways. It consumes yo...

Image by Joshua Woroniecki from Pixabay Sometimes, we can’t help being alone. Circumstances happen and we find ourselves alone and sometimes it’s quite frequent we are alone.  Alone time is fine and great sometimes. Although, when we are alone we tend to stay at home. Pot around and do what we feel like doing. And that is fine!  But sometimes, it’s too much and too long.  I suggest and hope you try this, is go out and explore a space. Either a place that you have been too before, because you know this place it will give you confidence to keep getting out and exploring. Or you could visit a new place and feel uplifted to explore a new space.  Whichever it is, go exploring! I have recently started a travel blog, so you can get inspired by my exploring adventures here:  https://melanietoyetravels.blogspot.com/?m=1 Have fun exploring! Aim for at least going out and exploring once a week. The natural good feeling vibe you will receive will be worth it. #exploring #u...

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay Did you know that visiting the beach / pool / or just filling a bowl and playing with the water is soothing for your soul? Try it.  Have a nice bath. Lay, lather, and use your hands to play with the water around your body. Move your hands under the water slowly and then a bit faster. Change directions with your hands. Squeeze the water through your hands. Just play with it. Did you notice something? For a moment, you actually forgot to let your thoughts overwhelm you, and instead you lived in the moment. You let curiosity take over you. What if you don't have a bath? Fill a bowl. Fill the kitchen sink. Use cold water or if you live in a cold climate, use warm water.  Do this daily for a week and then do it once a week.  Be kind to yourself. #water #waterhealing

Image by gnanasathees suntharam from Pixabay Sometimes, you might be facing something tough. Something you would rather avoid but you can't.  So pump up the music and remind yourself, you are the boss.  Walk like you are the boss. Shoulders back. Head held high. And your face can be as you want it. No fakeness here. You just be you.  You are going to go all into this situation and you are going to represent yourself.  It does not matter how tough you may feel the situation is. Why? Because, you are the boss.  You got this.  You may not be able to control the outcome, but you are going to show-up and give your best in whatever situation. The best is all you can give, this is what you can control. So give it.  Always be respectful and polite but remember you got this. Be the boss.  #betheboss #confidence #challenges