You know sometimes we get angry



Image by HANSUAN FABREGAS from Pixabay

 It’s interesting how anger works…. If you think about it there are generally two other emotions going on around the same time and then it builds up to anger and it will burst through any self-composed person in different ways. 

Interestingly, after I am angry I think about how did I feel leading up to the anger or what was the anger masking? 

Sometimes it’s anxiety, sometimes it’s stress, sometimes it’s  grief. And you don’t have to lose someone to grieve. Grieving can happen in all different ways such as grieving a change of lifestyle or grieving an end of a friendship or just grieving what you may have lost in the past. 

So it’s important to look at why you got angry? But it’s ok to have felt angry as well. As long as it is controlled and there is no danger to anyone or yourself, anger is a valid and normal emotion. 

Obviously, no one wants to be angry for too long. People want to feel good and that’s why people tend to go on a shopping spree or chat to friends and have a laugh. It’s doing something that pulls you out of your sadness and makes you even for a small amount, happy. 

Happiness is an interesting feeling. Some people say, it’s ok to not feel happy all the time. Because we do have other emotions to feel. Other people strive to be happy. 

Me, I just want to be content. I don’t want to be too up or too down for long periods. Generally, I just want to feel content. Because when I am content I can brainstorm my future goals and be inspired and motivated to follow them. I can also not over react to minor situations because I am at more level headed space. 

And then I can provide more empathy to others. Be social and just relax. 

If you do get angry here are some things you can do to release it:

1. Scream into your pillow. Screaming is a great release. Even go to a sports game where you can scream and cheer for your favourite team is a great release. 

2. Breath. Take a deep breath. This gives you a chance to pause. 

3. Be careful surrounding yourself with those who feed you the anger. They may think they are helping you vent but sometimes it can just make you angry all over again. So just politely say, “it’s ok I’m over it now, so I don’t want to talk about it.”

4. Go for a run or a walk. Exerting some energy will help you not only release the anger but it will help you clear your mind as well. 

Things to avoid when angry:

1. Try not to drink alcohol and if you have already, don’t drink anymore for the evening. It’s important you calm down. And alcohol can be a mood depressant so it’s not going to help you feel better.

2. Remove yourself from the person or situation. It sounds simple to do but sometimes when we are angry we want to stay angry. Walk away. And then use the calming techniques above.

3. Going over and over the thought. This will just keep making you angry and may make you do or say something you regret. If you want to write something down. Write it. And write it full angry but don’t send it. Writing it down is just healing for you in the moment. 

I hope the above helps when you feel angry. Remember, it’s ok to feel angry. Just recognise it quickly and release it. Then explore what were the underlying feelings around it.

#anger #howtodealwithbeingangry 

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