Melanie Toye Uplifts

Image by Vinzent Weinbeer from Pixabay When you have been through something traumatic in life, we tend to push it down and not talk about it.  It’s a release when we can talk to someone about it. It actually frees us even more. This person to talk to could be a professional, someone you trust or someone you know who’s being through a similar journey as you.  Talking about your experience makes you realise how free you are and how much you have grown. Sometimes when we are experiencing behaviour from someone else, it isn’t until we take off the rose coloured glasses that we realise, wow, how did I even put up with that person’s behaviour.  The most important thing to know is, you don’t have to put up with someone’s bad behaviour towards you. You can move on! And the best way to do that is to find support from others to help you on your journey to healing yourself.  Sometimes we feel it’s best we don’t open the darkness that we have had to overcome or are overcoming. ...

  Image by Åsa K from Pixabay So I was a pretty successful writer 7 years ago and then I burnt out from most areas of life and I stopped. I had been writing for years and then took a break. Burn out was real and ugly and when people asked if I would ever write again, I just said maybe in time. But it seemed so far away and I couldn’t really get past it. It just seemed like I was smashed and probably wouldn’t write again.  A few years ago, I even took down my ebooks and paperback from the online stores such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble etc. It was sad. Years of work. Just gone with a hit of a button. No history. I wiped my dream chaser blog. I even deleted my Facebook fan page. The only memory of my writing online was on my LinkedIn profile, follow me at  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanie-toye-a3267644?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app . I used to do sixty hours a week writing, bringing up my young children and ...

Image by Nanne Tiggelman from Pixabay It’s hard, you could be in a toxic situation, whether it’s in a relationship or at work or something else.  It’s hard to know sometimes if it’s toxic or just challenging. But once you know, your rose-coloured glasses come off and you decide how you will proceed, whether you leave the situation or person, or you stay but set some clear boundaries. Maybe once you work it out, it’s not as toxic as you thought and that you do have freedoms that you can enjoy the most out of. I will say upfront, as you work through the thoughts of working out it if it’s toxic or just challenging, your emotions are going to get sticky. It’s up to you to feel the emotions, acknowledge them but then move on. You don’t want to get stuck in a feeling and think it is toxic and then just stay there. You have to do a full circle and work out the whole situation and then release your emotions. Because only once you work out your full situation, then you can determine your n...

Image by HANSUAN FABREGAS from Pixabay  It’s interesting how anger works…. If you think about it there are generally two other emotions going on around the same time and then it builds up to anger and it will burst through any self-composed person in different ways.  Interestingly, after I am angry I think about how did I feel leading up to the anger or what was the anger masking?  Sometimes it’s anxiety, sometimes it’s stress, sometimes it’s  grief. And you don’t have to lose someone to grieve. Grieving can happen in all different ways such as grieving a change of lifestyle or grieving an end of a friendship or just grieving what you may have lost in the past.  So it’s important to look at why you got angry? But it’s ok to have felt angry as well. As long as it is controlled and there is no danger to anyone or yourself, anger is a valid and normal emotion.  Obviously, no one wants to be angry for too long. People want to feel good and that’s why people te...

Image by Michaela 💗 from Pixabay No matter what age you are, now is the most important time to believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself, the right doors will open for you. Opportunities will come knocking at your door. But you have to believe in yourself.  It’s very easy to be confident doing something you are good at. Now try something new for the first time, that confidence dwindles very quickly. Why? Because you don’t know where to start or how to deliver the outcome because you have never been shown and it’s something you have never done before.  Relax. You will learn how to do it if you really want it. And then it just takes practice. Sometimes every year of doing something on a regular basis you will see improvement. That’s why people have New Year Resolutions because in a year if you focus and stay on track with your goal and the most important part, you do it often then you will improve. There is no doubt. You can only get better. Some people work on their cra...

Image by Daniel Reche from Pixabay It’s ok to be anxious, even sometimes you might just get anxious at a certain situation you may have to deal with it. The most important thing to remember when you feel anxious is be gentle on yourself, talk to your inner mind and talk through the situation. Congratulate yourself when the situation is over. Just because you felt anxious doesn’t mean you have to feel like you failed a situation. If you still went through it then congratulate yourself that you did something and you were anxious and you still did it anyway.  This can relate to a fear of heights or travelling on an airplane. If you start to feel anxious about a possibly dangerous situation and your gut (stomach) is sending you a warning, this is when you need to listen to it and find another way. Do you see the difference?  One is safe, like climbing a tall mountain in a safe way even though you may be afraid of heights and the other is you might be walking straight into a dange...